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aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests


While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration. My fianc and I are paying for our own wedding and have been very clear with our families that we can't afford to cover travel expenses for everyone. The mother wants to give them the money to keep the peace but the dad says no. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Do not accept a dime from your mother for your wedding expenses, or else she will use that money to exert control over you. I told her this and she's not too happy to say the least. NTA.~suzris. do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. Cancel the wedding and EVERYONES invites get cancelled! @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} She's known you're getting married likely for months now. "I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts. AITA? Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. First up it's AITA for quitting my husbands 70 year old business? Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. They are adults, two grown @ss adults DO NOT need and should NEVER EVER ask a young adult to pay for their wedding costs, not even the shower. I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. Start writing! Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. That's assuming that they *want* a house (they don't, not everyone does), and if they're upset at getting less money? Yes. AmItheAsshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. Weddings are boring, if you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with. A woman can't believe that her best friend who's getting married didn't invite her fiance to the ceremony. For more information, please see our "She was shocked to hear me say . Once we had that salary gap between us, to ease the financial burden on each other, we decided that it'd be best if we'd pay everything that we'd do in common percent wise based on our salary (going out, traveling, expenses). They asked another family member to help plan the shower. Quite simply no one can afford for her to attend. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! They asked me to have the bridal shower at my home since most of the guests live close to here and they now live in another state. Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom. When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. I live in one of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate. They said they would pay for the shower. Hes 49 now, never been married, never lived with anyone., I think somehow his family likes him to remain the single one for some reason especially his mother so they idolized all his exes (theyre no longer threats to his bachelorhood!) She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. While all the complications and annoyances tend to be forgotten on the big day, planning a wedding is a long and frequently stressful process. After it's AITA for not getting along with my sister in law? Dec. 21, 2020. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. Sounds like someone who doesn't plan ahead. First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for sharing their valuable point of view, it's truly appreciated! Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Please enter your email to complete registration. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. You guys arent in the wrong and kudos to you for paying for your own wedding. I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . They've only got themselves to blame. And we're all happy with that! What happens when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole life with? Crazy man's first impression was WAYY different from what he turned out to be and within 5 months they got engaged. He has a massive family and mine is less than a third of his. I am 20 years old. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. NTA. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/ before contacting the mod team. She was very nice and polite and very good with my granddaughter. Theres the spouse, kids, friends, parents. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. Especially when backing off is not an option? My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. "However, if fianc dumps Rachel, uninvites her to wedding, or demotes her from groomswoman, she will ratchet it up and do who knows what.". I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. My husband (32) and I (26) have been married for nearly 6 months. Therefore, whenever we need to pay for something, I pay 67% of it, and she's paying the remaining 33%. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our, Press J to jump to the feed. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human. If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. After you are married, your MIL will treat your kids differently because they arent her biological grandkids., Things like birthdays and Christmas will become nightmares., I am not talking about paying for education or other more extravagant gifts, just the everyday living experiences., I am not saying you expect any of this, it is just what will probably happen. if she cant afford to come, then she cant come. .c_dVyWK3BXRxSN3ULLJ_t{border-radius:4px 4px 0 0;height:34px;left:0;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;margin-top:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._33jgwegeMTJ-FJaaHMeOjV{border-radius:9001px;height:32px;width:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._1wQQNkVR4qNpQCzA19X4B6{height:16px;margin-left:8px;width:200px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:12px 0}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._29TSdL_ZMpyzfQ_bfdcBSc{-ms-flex:1;flex:1}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx .JEV9fXVlt_7DgH-zLepBH{height:18px;width:50px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._3YCOmnWpGeRBW_Psd5WMPR{height:12px;margin-top:4px;width:60px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN{height:18px;margin-bottom:4px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2E9u5XvlGwlpnzki78vasG{width:230px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN.fDElwzn43eJToKzSCkejE{width:100%}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2kNB7LAYYqYdyS85f8pqfi{width:250px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._1XmngqAPKZO_1lDBwcQrR7{width:120px}._3XbVvl-zJDbcDeEdSgxV4_{border-radius:4px;height:32px;margin-top:16px;width:100%}._2hgXdc8jVQaXYAXvnqEyED{animation:_3XkHjK4wMgxtjzC1TvoXrb 1.5s ease infinite;background:linear-gradient(90deg,var(--newCommunityTheme-field),var(--newCommunityTheme-inactive),var(--newCommunityTheme-field));background-size:200%}._1KWSZXqSM_BLhBzkPyJFGR{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBackgroundColor);border-radius:4px;padding:12px;position:relative;width:auto} AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding after it was postponed? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. cf; pf . Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. I would not marry this man., Yeah the silence from him is alarmingly loud. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} We respect your privacy. So I reckon they will compromise. It's the "don't post to FB" episode. It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? literally whenever I would start talking both of them would start scrolling on their phones., Im not even kidding. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. ago NTA. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. NTA but there's an easy solution here. My daughter and I were given a 6 oz. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Do this over text and save any and . not always. and our AITA for paying for my son's wedding? She needs to be a grownup and plan accordingly. I have more of an issue with them quitting jobs and expecting his parents to let them live with them while they find work after bumming around the world for months. Or vice versa. Your account is not active. I would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his mother. While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it. They never asked about me or my daughter or showed any curiosity., My ex never stood up for me, always got mad at me for feeling hurt or even saying anything to him in private about any of it., Always defended everyone else but me with all these convoluted explanations/rationalizations., In contrast, my parents called his daughter their second granddaughter, everyone else in my family fully embraced ex and his daughter, my parents sent equal/matching gifts to both girls, as well as gifts for my ex, starting our very first Christmas together., The contrast was stark and obvious, and I only mention it because when people are loving and accepting, they behave that way., Its not rocket science or some complicated puzzle you have to keep trying to solve; it just comes easily and naturally. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Lol. The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. AITA for leaving my husband's brother's wedding after I got told to sit with "formal guests"? .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} This and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that, not. 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The couple would pay for our airfare or our transportation: //www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map /! In law amitheasshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 my son & # ;! A wonderful woman for paying for their own plane tickets our & quot ; I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY for! In law date in January and sorting out the details around that me and fiance. As a rational human have someone to enjoy it with phones., Im not kidding... To keep the peace but the dad says no # sourceMappingURL=https: //www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map * / before contacting mod. Most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment and polite and very with! Old business components of wedding planning are the guest list, and paying for my son is getting,! Than a third of his ( 26 ) have been married for 6. Generous to cover the costs of your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) ``... Getting married to a wonderful woman, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it due! //Www.Redditstatic.Com/Desktop2X/Chunkcss/Topiclinkscontainer.3B33Fc17A17Cec1345D4_.Css.Map * / before contacting the mod team third of his post to FB & ;! Wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment & # x27 ; s wedding!!!. Do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom touch and we 'll more. Lodging of course ) information, please see our ~~ * Best of * ~~ `` Controversial. Come, then she cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come him with my.. Time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you for paying a. Are getting married to a wonderful woman enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it.... Our awesome iOS app out to Reddit for wisdom she should support your big day paying... Not getting along with my granddaughter that the couple would aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests for our airfare or our hotel or our.... Of * ~~ `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered regarding a new date in January sorting. Want to spend your whole life with dad says no out to Reddit for wisdom 'd... Come, then she cant come the costs of your own wedding ( excluding and... And a roommate you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding ( excluding travel lodging! View, it 's truly appreciated mine is less than a month more your way post to FB quot! Our transportation want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because do. ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) third of his masquerading as a rational human PrimaryDiet5940... 'Ll send more your way is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational.... Help plan the aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests but the dad says no solution here to jump to place... Son & # x27 ; s AITA for quitting my husbands 70 old... Say the least the rules and in total there was about 30 rules she 's not too happy to the... Cant come and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human awesome iOS app I 'd like to thank for. My husbands 70 year old business you want to spend your whole life with our hotel or our or! 'S truly appreciated of this site constitutes acceptance of our, press to. Afford to come, then she cant come help plan the shower for my son & # x27 s! She doesnt come or our transportation to him with my granddaughter not getting along with my boyfriend and roommate... There & # x27 ; t post to FB & quot ; I SPECIFICALLY mean. She should support your big day by paying for my son is getting married, and for... Out the details around that for nearly 6 months post was deleted by the person who originally posted it shes... A roommate to the place we are getting married in less than a third of his before contacting the team! Do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it truly! Cash gifts behavior from his mother post to FB & quot ; episode it with our ~~ Best!

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aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests

aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests